The Orgasm Gap
“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation,” says comedian Lily Tomlin; and she may have a point. American men are free to express their sexuality without repercussions, but what about women? Today, women are independent, capable of attaining higher education, seen in high-power positions. Women are able to achieve whatever it is they desire—well, besides an orgasm. Multiple studies show that a third of women have never had an orgasm during intercourse. The stigma placed on female sexuality has lead to inhibitions and a lack of awareness in bed. Thus, The Orgasm Gap exists, even in a time where women are considered more liberated and independent than ever. The idea of females as the passive receiver and males as the sexual agent needs to be eliminated if women want to orgasm.
Many are unaware of that The Orgasm Gap exists. “The orgasm gap is an inequity that’s as serious as the pay gap, and it’s producing a rampant culture of sexual asymmetry,” says Paula England, a professor of sociology at Stanford University. Females too often blame themselves for their lack of sexual satisfaction, often attributing it to some sort of sexual dysfunction. However, the reality is that the normative model for sex is catered towards male sexual pleasure, and negates female gratification. One UCSB student comments, “I will be waiting, waiting, and waiting, then suddenly he’s done… and it’s over. It’s bullshit”! As mentioned, many women — about one out of three— do not orgasm during sex. However, this number is even smaller for college women. Only through sexual knowledge, awareness, and an open dialogue, can sexual equality transpire. Waiting, waiting, and waiting,
then suddenly he’s done… and it’s over. It’s bullshit! There is a false notion of sexual equivalency between men and women promoted by traditional models of the sexual response cycle, when really, women have their own unique response cycle. Through education, women can become aware of their bodies and sexual needs. For instance, a female’s clitoris is her most sensitive erogenous zone, however, it is located outside of the vagina. The standard sexual model requires sex to take place inside of the vagina, pleasuring the man but skipping over the female “pleasure zone” if the man is unaware. Many argue that the male orgasm is biologically easier to achieve due to evolution; a male must ejaculate (a physical sign of the orgasm) in order to reproduce. However, unless the sexual goal is to knock her, the female’s needs must be met in order to achieve sexual equality and harmony. “I suppose it does not matter what is fair or not biologically because it's what we're stuck with, but I think society could make it easier on women by making sex less taboo for them and teaching them about their sexuality earlier,” suggests a female student at UCSB. Recognizing the problem and educating ourselves about female sexuality seems to be the first step to bringing justice to The Orgasm Gap.
| Over a third of college women have never experienced an orgasm Perhaps masturbation is the answer; after all, it seems to work for men! However, it is unfortunate that the stigma placed on female masturbation has women blushing at the mere mention of it. It is no wonder then, that many young women have a hard time communicating their needs to their partners; they don’t even know what they want. One female student feels strongly about the importance of masturbation, “Women are taught to think about our bodies for other people and not for ourselves…. Women need to take control over there bodies by knowing their bodies…and by masturbating!” Most woman do not feel comfortable expressing their sexuality, therefore, women do not openly discuss masturbation. After interviewing 15 female students at UCSB, not one admitted to masturbating regularly. Two women replied that they had tried to but either felt uncomfortable or did not know what to do, consequently, discontinuing the practice. However, the results are far different after conducting an anonymous online survey. Much to my surprise, 52.4% of female UCSB students report masturbating regularly and 28.6% have at least tried it. That only leaves 4 women of the 21 respondents that have never masturbated. Why are women so secretive about something that the majority practices? “I think it’s [female masturbation] funny and awkward,” says one female student. I asked her if she thought it was funny and awkward knowing that men masturbate, to which she replied, “No, I don’t…. and I guess that’s really sad actually”.
The inhibitions a woman feels play a strong role in her inability to orgasm. According to Martin Portner, author of "The Orgasmic Mind", when a woman orgasms, much of her brain goes silent. This is easier said than done when all a woman can think about is what her mother or priest would think. The same study reveals a drop in excitation levels in the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex during the female orgasm. This area of the brain plays a major role in moral reasoning and judgment. Most women have a hard time getting this part of the brain to shut up--and it’s no wonder; society and the media tells women to run around in revealing clothing, be sexually confident, and hookup with men no strings attached. But then, society and peer groups swing back around and slam young women with repercussions and judgment, leaving them with feelings of guilt and shame. Women are held to higher standards of sexual ethics than men; females are pressured to meet moral and “ladylike” expectations. Consequentially, the repression of female sexuality is more than a buzz kill in bed. When a woman orgasms,
much of her brain goes silent The notion of the woman as passive receiver and the male as the sexual agent needs to be thrown out in order to achieve sexual equality. The moral standards placed on women inhibit their ability to fully enjoy sexual release. In addition, closing The Orgasm Gap requires female awareness and knowledge of her body and its sexual capabilities. The shame and frustration women feel about expressing themselves sexually is apparent through the stigma of female masturbation. Overall, the male model of sexuality as the norm leaves women confused, unsatisfied, and repressed.
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